the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
