All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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