Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
