Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
