I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
