operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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