Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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