Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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