hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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