so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
