I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
