the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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