Me. At least after what I've been through.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize