Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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