Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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