ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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