White coat. Heels.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
