This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
