Can i not drive my cunt home
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
