he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
