i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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