I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
