Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
