i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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