My room smells like vodka and shame
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She even gives head with a lisp.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
