Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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