Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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