Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
