She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
