Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
