Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
