i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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