please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
