Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
