it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
