I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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