I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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