u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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