So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
