I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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