shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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