You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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