After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
