What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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