I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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