Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize