I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
