question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
