Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
