The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
