White coat. Heels.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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