I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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