Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
His hands were made for my vagina.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
