You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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