I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
