can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
