What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
