It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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