ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
