How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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