i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
