We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
